convs. between psychowork and daggers1

30th October. 2005


Emotions defy all reality: first sound of silence........'?'
Sound of silence: when its completey silent , there is an eire sound of nothiness..i cant stand that sound
Emotions defy all reality: :)
Sound of silence: emotions defy all reality <<Emotions defy all reality: well...
my emotions often takes leaps n bounds ahead of the situation in hand...
which is completely impractical ...
it makes it difficult to take appropriate actions in light of the situation ...
Sound of silence: (H)
did u get my email?
Emotions defy all reality: yeah
iv already sent a reply
Sound of silence: ok...
Emotions defy all reality: it was kind of u to deign to send me one :P
Sound of silence: lol
hey eid kub hai KL Main
Emotions defy all reality: argh ! y do ur replies come so late ?
1st syawal
Sound of silence: coz this pc sucks...laptop gher per rah gaiya:(...applications hang ker rahee hain
whats the Second Sawal?
Emotions defy all reality: haider !
i was replyin to ur qs
hey eid kub hai KL Main 1st syawal ... like the rest of the world
if ur askin bout the gregorian calendar
to i dunno
Sound of silence: no rest of the world main aik din nahee hai...
Emotions defy all reality: moon yet to b sited
Sound of silence: hmm ok:)
Emotions defy all reality: har jagah 1st syawal ko hi hai na !
Sound of silence: lol
Emotions defy all reality: aur waisay bhi
v'll both b celebratign it on the same day
Sound of silence: yeah...
but ill celeberating my eid in spore..(yukh)
Emotions defy all reality: :)
:P
who're u takin along wid u ?
( 8o during the time that i have to wait for ur reply ... i can carry out entire conv wid ma self :P)
Sound of silence: its just you..i am at friends shop..so he is busy in selling his designer cloths and i am using his pc
Emotions defy all reality: ahan ..
u din reply to my earlier qs ...
u goin alone sppore?
Sound of silence: no ..its me and cousin
Emotions defy all reality: u send me a ticket ... main bhi ajati hoon :P
Sound of silence: i wish you can come...sending ticket is no issue:)
Emotions defy all reality: :)
lol
i din think so either
Sound of silence: lol
Emotions defy all reality: ur eid in pk is usually very merry i presume?
Sound of silence: so many ppl around me (yukh)...
yeah
Emotions defy all reality: so many ppl around me (yukh)...
?
(ur beginning to be very expressive :P)
Sound of silence: lol
wait
Emotions defy all reality: no prob ...
achi practise ho rahi hia

some things i stole from Reader's Digest

I am a disc jockey, and one night when I was at the controls a record began to slip. Before I could react , the needle scraped across the entire song leaving me with “dead-air” silence, a D.J.’s worst enemy. I grabbed the mike and shouted over the air: “ All right – which one of you listeners at home just bumped your radio and made my record slip? After my little face-saving joke, I played another song.
A few minutes later, the switch board operator came in to say that three people had called to apologise.

READERS DIGEST


One day my six-yr-old daughter saw my sister putting some massage cream on her face She asked her, “ What is that , auntie?”
“It’s what makes my face pretty,” my sister replied.
When my sister finished the massage, my daughter looked at her face and said, “Throw that cream away, auntie. It doesn’t work.”

READERS DIGEST


A clergyman walking down a country lane sees a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off.
“you look hot, my son,” said the cleric.
“Why don’t you rest a moment, and I’ll give you a hand.”
“No, thanks,” said the young man. “My father won’t like it “
“Don’t be silly”, the clergyman said.
“Everyone is entitled to a break. Come and have a drink of water”.
Again the young man protested that his father would be upset. Losing his patience, the clergyman said, “Your father must be a real slave driver. Tell me where I can find him and I’ll give him a piece of my mind!”
“He’s under the load of hay”, replied the farmer.

READERS DIGEST


A man noted for his tact was awakened one morning at four o’clock by his ringing phone. “Your dog’s barking and it’s keeping me awake,” said an irate voice. The man thanked the caller and politely asked his name before hanging up. The next morning at four o’clock, he called back his neighbour.
“Sir”, he said, “ I don’t have a dog.”

READERS DIGEST


The five phone lines at our busy eye doctor’s office were ringing at once. A receptionist picked up a line on hold and told the patient, “Take it out, rinse it and put it back in “. Her advise, however, was met with dead silence on the phone. Then my co-worker realized that she was talking not to a contact-lens patient, but to a person suffering from a bloodshot eye. Finally the patient mustered a response. “I think I’ll get another opinion.” She said.

READERS DIGEST


In the post office: I don’t want to say the mail is slow – but last week my flower seeds arrived as a bouquet.”
At the pub: “Ever feel you are the head pin on life’s bowling alley and everyone’s rolling strikes?”

READERS DIGEST


A man was passing a country estate an saw a sign on the gate. It read:
“ Please ring bell for the caretaker.”
He rang the bell and an old man appeared. “Are you the caretaker?”
The fellow asked.
“Yes, I am,” replied the old man.
“What do you want?”
“I’ll just like to know why you can’t ring the bell yourself?”

READERS DIGEST

convs. between psychowork and daggers1

28th October 2005


Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon: :D
how come ur online at this time these day s?
Sound of silence: coz i have started another company, i need to give time to it in evening
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon: :-O
Sound of silence: so in morning i am at zypherlogics and in evening i am Quantus(my new company)
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : hmmm...
so wat service does the new one provide?
Sound of silence: :)
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon: :P
n who comes up with the names?
Sound of silence: me
its a training center for Animation and Corporate clients ,,,plus we conduct Cambridge UNiversity Examination
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon: Animation?
Sound of silence: animation and grpahic for film, games and video production
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : i didnt know an organisatoin apart from a school could conduct these exams
apart from brit council that it
is*
cool
!
but the training is for the clients?
Sound of silence: we are registered with british council for Camridge International Examination
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : yes i know... its jus that i din realise ANY organisation is eligible for gettin registered
Sound of silence: in morning its scholl for A levels and in evening we offer professional and various other Academic training programee counducted
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : various other Academic training programe for example ?
Sound of silence: british council delegates the authority to other institute to conduct exmaination under their supervision
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : n bout the names... i like the fact that they're not pretencious (spelling saara!)
Sound of silence: kumon math, Kaplan, Sat, Gre Gmat,Ielts..etc
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : nah... i din realise it was a school as well
now it makes sense
Sound of silence: ok
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon: btw ... did u know ?
ur quite photogenic :P
Sound of silence: (H)
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : lol:P
?
Sound of silence: and so is ur cat
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : lol...:P its not a CAT!!!
for heavens sake :P
uv insulted ma baby wolf...:P
i love this pic :D
ppl usually find it borin ...
Sound of silence: your wolf is as cute as a cat
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon: i dont think wolves take kindly at bein called 'cute'
Sound of silence: it all depends on aesthetic sensiblity
;)
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon: :P baqoul ma frd ...
angrezi kam marain ..:P
Sound of silence: lol
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : :D
it makes me feel so good sayin that
usually I AM the one who has to hear it ...
Sound of silence: show mar raha hon english kee
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon: :P
Sound of silence: :)
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon: aur rahi aesthetic sense ki baat to ... again ur insulting the wolf ...
it'd be 'aesthetically' more appropriate to call it ferocious :P

Sound of silence: ferocity has nothing todo with aestheticism,
:S
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon: :)
i meant in appearence
appearance *
y 'sound of silence '?
Sound of silence: well beauty is subjective thats all i can say
for instance ppl think i ma very good looking..hehheeh;)
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon: agreed...
lol... GOd !
n u beleve them ?
Sound of silence: no that prove that beauty is subjective:)
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : :)
brb
Sound of silence: ok:)
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : m bak
Sound of silence: welcome back:)
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon: :( got a long day tommorrow ...
hav invited relatives fr iftari
Sound of silence: oh ok...so u gonna be busy in making iftarri..etc
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon: upar say mama wanted khala to come also ... the same who was ill
i call her 'Mak CUm' by the way
Sound of silence: oh yes i remeber..ub kaisaee hain woh
is she ok now
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon: its gettin tirin havin to repeat that she's the same
Sound of silence: what Mak cum means?
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon: yeah pretty ok
lol
mak = mother
cum =cute
apparently she was quite cute when she was younger
was her nick name
Sound of silence: oh ok :)
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon: now v call her the same
all aunts are called Mak + 'somethin'
e.g the eldest will be Mak Long... youngest Mak Usu
:D
Sound of silence: ok:) so do ppl call u cum too ?
thats interesting
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon: ahhh ...iv yet to find a guy who can live widout flattery :P
yup....n i have a total of 10 pairs of aunts n uncles
Sound of silence: well i would not mind a few nice words here and there
mashallah big family

Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon: lol... so now UR fishing for compliments
seriously !
yeah ... par yahan ki family is not as closely knit as in pk ...
i mean ... i had 3 measly first cousins in pk ... but i was pretty close to them ...
Sound of silence: why
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : i have no idea
Sound of silence: i know in pk its very different
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon: the social structure is such
Sound of silence: oh ok
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon: every family is a very self sufficient unit
anyway ... kal sirf iftari tayyar nahi karni
i 'll be pickin up Mak Cum from BAnting
thats like one and a half hours drive minus the jam
Sound of silence: oh it will be a very long day for you
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon: hate drivin!!!!:(
yeah ....
n i don even like such gatherings
but thr is one compensatoin
Sound of silence: ike what
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : mak cum owns a proton wira
:D
Sound of silence: hehe
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : i'lll drive to Banting in our kancil ... lev it at her house ... n drive bak in her car
i love huge cars
:D
:)
lol... its amazing
Sound of silence: i love cars like alpha romeo, jaguars...
Main ik fard hoo ya ik ahsaas hoon : she's well aware kay meray pass license bhi nahi hai valid
arghh... dont bombard me wid names !
im completely ignorant !
Sound of silence: :)
as long as its bigger than the kancil , kelisa genre im happy
lol
but its tirin
Sound of silence: i am sure it is..as u have to arrange everything plus driving
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : hmmm... correction

i don have to arrange EVERYThing ...
mama aur sofia bhi hain...
:P
but i do want a holiday from drivin
matlab jus ONE day ?
weekend ka sochti hoon to its like ... ah rest !
Sound of silence: woh hi..aisay main khush ker raha tha;)
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : laikan pichlay teen haftoon say weekend pay max drivin ho rahi hai
imagine
ME drifin for 6 hrs
str ...
Sound of silence: oh god
thats too much
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : :)... i admit ... ap ko khush karna ata bhi hai :P
Sound of silence: lol
:)
Mai nik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : v put up the new curtains today :)
orange !
in blue walled rooms
i love it !:D
Sound of silence;cool...so yeh color kiss nay choose kiya?
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : lol
nobody ...
nani nay diya curtains :D
half our house is filled with stuff from her ...
she's like the sweetest thing on the face of the earth !!!
she'd bought it for herself ... i dont remember wat reason she for not using it herself
Sound of silence: thats so sweet...i remember my nani..even she used to do that...
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : oh but wait..
this is not my NANI nani ...
she's my great aunt
nani passed away jus after the last eid ...
Sound of silence: oh i am sorry
so chaand raat ko kiya kertain aap loag jee
Mai ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : :) sorry for whon

*-) yahan chand raat pay kuch nahi hota ... main aur sofia mehendi laga lain gay ... that's bout it i suppose ...lotsa cookin though
ppl here are MAD after food
Sound of silence: really i thought its just paki only
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : lol
beleve me pakis are nothing
:
:P
Sound of silence: thats a news for me:)
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon: well ... in a diff way ... don ask me how ... i wont b able to exp
Sound of silence: lol dont worry
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : oh btw ...
Sound of silence: ?
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : i del my orkut acc ... in case u ever find out that ur testimonial is missin ...
but rest assured ... i have the testimonial itself saved ...
Sound of silence: why did u do that
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon :shrug
Sound of silence: :)
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon: us pay privacy nahi hai koi bhi
i feel queasy readin other ppls scrapbooks ...
n i know i don want anybody goin thr mine
so ...
aur waisay bhi ... it was actually pretty useless... i was never an active user ...
Sound of silence: haha
true
:)
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon: any way
Sound of silence: so hows weather in kl
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : raining everyday
its the rainy season
oct nov dec
Sound of silence: ok
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon: i suppose I in turn shud ask bout khi ?
Sound of silence: dont need to ask about khi coz weather remains same....no rains:)
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : maybe ... par ab formality to puri karni paray gi na

n how come no rains
bein so near to the coast?
or are u talkin bout the current season ?
Sound of silence: yes
rain saal mina sirf aik mertaba hotee hai
bus phir rain nahee hotee
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : ahan ...
can i say somfin ?
Sound of silence: yes u can
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : lets NEVER talk bout the weather again plz
Sound of silence: ok we wont..but can i ask why?
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : hmmm... y did u ask bout the weather in the first plac e?
Sound of silence: coz as u know i am coming to kl so i just wanted to know about weather
:S
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : hmmm
ic ...
well... its jus that i tend to place certain connotations to diff topics ...
n the weathr comes in the 'valiantly trying to carry out small talk with a stranger n failing badly ' category
:D
Sound of silence: haha
we arent strangers are we
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : exaclty !
ur pretty smart:P
Sound of silence: and u ll never find small talk from me
i know i m smart :P#
i honestly wanted to know
but God forbid i ever enquire bout the weather again# hehehe
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : lol
Sound of silence: *inquire.
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : na h... u wont dare now
koi nahi ...every time ur about to come here ... i'll drop in a hint
u wont need to ask ...
of course if my memory serves me
Sound of silence: yea>...?
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : yea>...?
?
Sound of silence: well u were refering to something in your memory
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : i meant ... in simple words
Sound of silence: yer memory serves u right bout wat>?
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : if i remember ... i'll tel u bout the weather maself
Sound of silence: aaaaaaaaaaaah
me slow
too much food at iftar#
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : :)
no prob ...
im not in the 'baisti karing' mood today
Sound of silence: ohreally
god help me when u are..#:)
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : :D
yeah ... Amin
Sound of silence: :)
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : oh by the way ....
monday ... the family , me n mak cum will be goin to the village
v'll be stayin there the whole week
Sound of silence: so u ppl gonna stay there for some days?
ok
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : so i wont b comin online
:D
Sound of silence: how far is it from kl?
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : 4 hrs...
well
4.5 in our kancil
3.5 in makcums car
*-)
if they'd only let me drive at 160...
imagine the possibilities!
Sound of silence: lol
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : no such luck
Sound of silence: hehe
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : 120 pay guzara karna parta hai
matlab !
snail pace !
lol
Sound of silence: :)
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : oh n another thing ....
Sound of silence: but is snail ka mind rabbit ka hai
:)
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : don call me on eid day ....
Sound of silence: y is evrything ok
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : coz i'll be expecting an imp call from a Mr Mirza Haider Baig...
n its definitely NOT missable
Sound of silence: btw write down my new number...its 0092321-8275741..
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : its the same except for the 321 in place of 300 haina ?
Sound of silence: hmm interesting
yes
:)
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : yeah ... i wudn want u blockin the line :P
Sound of silence: lol
brb
Main ik fard hoon ya ik ahsaas hoon : k
welcome back sir
if u are that is ...lol
Sound of silence: by the way how is this Mirza haider baig and whats the importance of this call
As always plain ole me (emphasis on the plain) : oooooooo... got right to the point dint u ?
no need to be jealous ...
Sound of silence: i mean who is this haider baig? and why his call is important..
As always plain ole me (emphasis on the plain) : jus a frd ...
used to call me a lot at one pt ...
to tel u the truth i din appreciate them ...
till they stopped :(
Sound of silence: hmmm..if he is justa frnd .then why so important
As always plain ole me (emphasis on the plain) : u know wat haider ...
Sound of silence: and u expecting him to start calling again
:)
As always plain ole me (emphasis on the plain) : friendship has always held diff meanings for both of us
i don jus call anybody a frd ...
n contrary to ur belief ... i dont have many frds ...
the ones i have i can count on one hand ....

losin even one makes a big diff
Sound of silence: is Mr haider Baig on the Thumb?
;)
As always plain ole me (emphasis on the plain) : does it matter which finger?
Sound of silence: yes if order matters
As always plain ole me (emphasis on the plain) : lol... :)
Sound of silence: well thats doesnt answer my question
As always plain ole me (emphasis on the plain) : v'r both still a long way from that dont u think /
?
y do u want instant ans ?
Sound of silence: certain level of excitement i guess
As always plain ole me (emphasis on the plain) : :) a piece of advise ... dont go for the temporary respites ...
work for the long term benefits ... n beleve me that's hard work
n now that im in the mood ...
Sound of silence: quick in my dictionary doesnt always come with next to short
As always plain ole me (emphasis on the plain) : damn ... iv forgotthen wat i was gonna say
ur dictionary may be flawed ... if i may b allowed to say so
Sound of silence: lol
As always plain ole me (emphasis on the plain) : oh yeah
i was gonna say ...
another piece of advise ...
never go for the verbals ...
action always speaks louder ...
literally deafens
Sound of silence: i agree
As always plain ole me (emphasis on the plain) : :) act on it man!
:P
khair
Sound of silence: i also believe in long term solutions but i also believe in urgency and not laying back
As always plain ole me (emphasis on the plain) : but i dont think urgency is required in this case ...i mean ... do u ?
Sound of silence: well u cant call it a requirment but a desire
but i guess u desire otherwise
As always plain ole me (emphasis on the plain) : wat if the consequent is a lifetime of regret ?
im jus not very sure if ur aware how much hardwork love is ...
ppl tend to think one fall in love and lives happily ever after ...
iv begun to think one never falls in love
its jus infatuation
n it inevitably ends ...
Sound of silence: well i believe one grows into love
As always plain ole me (emphasis on the plain) : thats wat im tryin to say ... its not somthing that HAPPENS
it needs to be nurtured
Sound of silence: true
As always plain ole me (emphasis on the plain) : constantly watered ... given attention ... conscious effor t
to tell u the truth
my parents marriage was HORRIBLe
im scared to hell of endin up in the same situation
i'd rather NEVER marry

Sound of silence: i can understand your apprehension
As always plain ole me (emphasis on the plain) : n i tot yesterday u said v can go slow
Sound of silence: i m sorry if i sounded pushy
As always plain ole me (emphasis on the plain) : y did u say so if u dint mean it /
Sound of silence: my intention wasnt to push u in a corner
i was just having a playful conversation
but
i understand and believe also tat 'we' will require time to build a long lasting 'relationship'
As always plain ole me (emphasis on the plain) : aik baat batain ?
Sound of silence: poochain
As always plain ole me (emphasis on the plain) : u remember the first time i warned u not to fall for me ...
sometime in the beginning?
Sound of silence: yes u did...so?
As always plain ole me (emphasis on the plain) : did u actually take me seriously then ?
or did u think i was under a ridiculous illusion ?
Sound of silence: on anything related to backing offf i didnt
As always plain ole me (emphasis on the plain) : u probably tot i thought too much of myself haina?
Sound of silence: not really...i dont believe in giving up...i was trying to turn you around
As always plain ole me (emphasis on the plain) : *-)
ic...
Sound of silence: :)
As always plain ole me (emphasis on the plain) : thr is a guy in college ...
at one pt he got too interested also ...
i gave a simila r warning...
HE said i thought too much of myself ...
:'(
he has got me worried sick ...
Sound of silence: he was a guy in college and i am Haider Baig..we think differently
As always plain ole me (emphasis on the plain) : im such a wreck
hmmmm
Sound of silence: cheer up
:)
As always plain ole me (emphasis on the plain) : sure...
i admit ... m not in a very good mood a t the moment ...
so i thinks i better go ...
Sound of silence: i hope i am not the cause..
As always plain ole me (emphasis on the plain) : u ?
not really
if it wasnt u
itd b somfin else ...
jus one of ma usual glooms ...
the time wen i DONT chat remember ?
ijazat ?
Sound of silence: well if u feel u wanna go then fine..no issues...but try to cheer up
As always plain ole me (emphasis on the plain) : lol
Sound of silence: think happy thougts...
think me
:)
As always plain ole me (emphasis on the plain) : i'lll go n try to shed some tears
beleve it or not it cheers me up like nothin else
par im usually a dry well
pitu
pity*
Sound of silence: shed a smile or too also while u are at it
As always plain ole me (emphasis on the plain) : lol

nah
cant lose those :P
i still hav an entire to suffer remember ?
i still hav an entire life to suffer remember?
Sound of silence: life goes on and u ahve to build ur life
As always plain ole me (emphasis on the plain) : no doubt
Sound of silence: here are few words from my favo songs
*song
As always plain ole me (emphasis on the plain) : n i cant lose smiles
i'll need em later
sure
Sound of silence: I've loved, I've laughed and cried, I've had my fill - my share of losing. But now, as tears subside, I find it all so amusing. To think I did all that, And may I say, not in a shy way - Oh no. Oh no, not me. I did it my way.
As always plain ole me (emphasis on the plain) : unfortunately ... its quite true
Sound of silence: I've lived a life that's full - I've travelled each and every highway. And more, much more than this, I did it my way. Regrets? I've had a few, But then again, too few to mention. I did what I had to do And saw it through without exemption.
As always plain ole me (emphasis on the plain) : v tend to attach such significance to things which end up as a trifle
an amusing memory
Sound of silence: true
just remember.. live your life your way.. no one elses..
As always plain ole me (emphasis on the plain) : argh ! i dont like such thinking
its so secular
i CAnt live life my own way
i SHUDnt
n thrs no pt fighting that
Sound of silence: hmmm ...may be
As always plain ole me (emphasis on the plain) : Regrets? I've had a few, thr can never be FEW regrets....
songs and poetry tend to b idealistic
GOD! ... talk bout the blues ...
i gotta go ...
or else i'll drag u down wid me
Sound of silence: there is no harm in working towards ideal...
As always plain ole me (emphasis on the plain) : yes thr is ...
coz thr not true
n thr not achievable
one needs to come in terms wid reality
Sound of silence: well whats life without ideal!
As always plain ole me (emphasis on the plain) : n u cant do that if ur chasin ideals
life is practical
without ideals
its takin wat comes the way it comes ...
Sound of silence: i ideals can be practicals depends on person ability..i belive i can make ideals work for me
As always plain ole me (emphasis on the plain) : no fancy lacing n decorations
haider can i go ?
Sound of silence: yes u can
As always plain ole me (emphasis on the plain) : thank u ...
n another thing ...
will u try to be there - not always - jus as much as u can ?
Sound of silence: YES!!!!!! anything for You!!! i want to be there for you!!!
As always plain ole me (emphasis on the plain) : a life time is a long time u know
even a yr is
anywa y
till next time
Allah hafi z
Sound of silence: i dont depreciate with time
ok u take care
As always plain ole me (emphasis on the plain) : lol
yeah but ur love might
Sound of silence: u smiled now u can go;)
i tend to believe love (with a right person) appreciates with time
As always plain ole me (emphasis on the plain) : be careful wat u say
some things ar e hard to prove
Sound of silence: y ? it might come true
As always plain ole me (emphasis on the plain) : n again (sigh) Allah hafiz
Sound of silence: give me time and i will
:) tc Allah hafiz
As always plain ole me (emphasis on the plain) : u have all the time u want
bye
dont work too har d :P
Sound of silence: all i wanted ot hear
dont worry i am not taking it as work i am enjoying it
(H)
As always plain ole me (emphasis on the plain) : :P main jo hon
khair
FINALLY
by e
Sound of silence: bye:)

convs. between psychowork and daggers1

27th October. 2005

Saara: salam
Sound of silence: wsalam
Saara: can i hav a second chance?
Sound of silence: well it depends how u define a chance...
in my dictionary chance is a perpetual stretch of a life time and not a fleeting moment
Saara: :S
well...
these past couple of weeks i realised that i had been wrong not to give YOU a chance
not to mention extremely proud in my conduct ...
i don't know ... im not one for an all out commitment...
but - n im sorry i realised this jus recently - our relationship ended very badly
Sound of silence: what would you have done if u wre in my place
Saara: btw - ur definition of 'chance' has both the positive and negative connotation...
takin into account the famed male ego...
i'd reject ...
:S
Sound of silence: i have never had the cure for close- mindedness
i cannot stop from presuming
i cant stop u from presuming
Saara: but hope conquers it all - wont u say ?
do u want justification for y i did what i did?
Sound of silence: reasons are slave to passion......one always comes up with a vindication to secure his/her ends...
Saara: i suppose that means ... watever i say ... what i'v done is done ...
but a word in my own defence...
the reasons i had ... were the same then ... they're not somthing i'v come up with over time to sooth myself
infact ...
it is NOW that the reasons are paling in comparison to my guilt (guilt on my pride)
Sound of silence: i am not yet a dark heart......
Saara: is that a ray of light?
Sound of silence: well Yes ..if the ray intends to redeem the situation
Saara: :D
THANK YOU!
Sound of silence: so hows ur studys going
Saara: :S
does it not bother u... that i cud give up somebody so easily for somebody else?
Studies ... they're too easy ...
Forgive me ... sounds a bit haughty ... but im seriously in the wrong institute
Sound of silence: would u care to expound on ur previous statement please
Saara: well... if our roles were reversed ... (im referring to the other guy - Abbas- he wasnt jus an excuse , he does exist u know)
i'd be very suspicious...
does it not show that i dont take my relationships seriously ?...
Sound of silence: well
so the question for me is are u worth the chance
Saara: wasnt it right from the beginning?
Sound of silence: well it seems more obvious now that you might not take me seriously hence greater the risk
Saara: will u stop stating the obvious!
ur killin me with the suspense
Sound of silence: should i take the gamble?..what are my odds
Saara: another word in my own defense ...
my failure in relationships so far are not entirely my fault
Ummm... well?
Sound of silence: honestly i am a bit wary now after reading what u had to say , but i still have faith that somthing good and special between us

Saara: so i still get that chance ?
Sound of silence: and faith bears no reason
i thought it was obvious that you would never have to ask me that.... and if u are stil ambigous it is a yes
Saara: (}) (again purely conceptual)... im a bit jittery here ... dont want to risk a misunderstanding
Sound of silence: as far as i understand u asked if u had a chance and i said yes.. dont think it cud get any more black and white than this...
Saara: :D
Sound of silence: ({) (impurely conceptual)
Saara: tht's the whole pt ... u didnt say yes ... you covered it up with a lot of prose...
Sound of silence: and if i had to ask u the same question
YES
Yes
Yes
loud and clear?
Saara: ok
thank you ...
Sound of silence: like i said.. if i had to ask u the same
"so i still get that chance ?"
Saara: actually ...
i'd been prayin u wud ... like i said ... our last conversation on this topic required a lot to be desired
Sound of silence: wud wat? ask the question? or clarify my yes?
and you have an unanswered question...
Saara: ask the question
Sound of silence: "so i still get that chance?"
Saara: YES ... the same

y are U so doubtful now ?
Sound of silence: more aptly .. do we have a chance..
Saara: i honeslty dont know
Sound of silence: i want a confirmation as loud as mine
Saara: like i said ... i cant seem to be able to hold on to such relationships...
Sound of silence: and clear too while you are at it
Saara: i dont know if v have a chance
but im willing to give it a try ...
Sound of silence: isnt there any inclination this might be different.?
Saara: again... honestly ... i dont dare to hope ...
Sound of silence: u ll have to promise a very faithful try.
Saara: lol
Sound of silence: leave the hoping to me...
Saara: inshallah
Sound of silence: i smiling and yer laughing?
Saara: since v'r at the topic o f hope...
i might as well tell u ...
these past couple of weeks i'v been so confused ...
i actually did istakharah ... twice at that
then today i realised ... the issue in question is hardly approved in light of islam...
does that not make any effort from either of us FUTILE?
?
Sound of silence: god all wise and all just and i am sure he has betowed somthing fruitfull for us though it may not signify at this very moment
Saara: but does it not seem WRONG to u ?
i mean ... to tell u the truth... i would never have asked for a second chance... but something has been persistenty nagging me n it was getting me into a truly cranky mood...
i dont know if what im doing is the right thing or not ...
Sound of silence: if fate would have been pre determined from start to finish then no beliver would pray..i know my pray would not go unheard as none of my prayers are ilegitimate
Saara: but this is not about fate ... its about choosing wats wrong n right ...
Sound of silence: right and worng is for us to carve from this moment on
let bygons be bygons and lets take a fresh start from the scratch
Saara: in that case ... can i ask of u something ?
Sound of silence: yes
Saara: can v take it slow this time ... n i mean really slow ... i'v messed up too many times ...
n i want u to give urself a chance to find out that im not the angel u think i am
Sound of silence: yes we can..no issues
Saara: really really slow ?
Sound of silence: let c

Saara: :P
anyway ... i think i should go now ... im still shaken ... i might say something stupid ...
Sound of silence: ok takecare ...stay cool but dont freeze;)
Saara: oh ... b4 i go ...
lol
wat date are u comin?
mama's asked me like a million times
Sound of silence: well i am coming on 15 november..i am leaving for spore on 3 November and on 7 ill goto Dubai....
eid will be in Spore:(
Saara: confirmed ?
:)
n haider ?
Sound of silence: Yes
Saara: i missed you
n thank you
(the missing part was a surprise to me - which is why i mention it )
Sound of silence: ill cheerish these words all my life
:)
Saara: i hope we make it
Sound of silence: inshallah
Saara: inshallah
k then
Allah hafiz
Sound of silence: Allah Hafiz ..give my regards to ur family
Saara: Sir YES sir :D
Sound of silence: :)

...RE - continuation

i'd like to refer to something i wrote on 22nd Dec 2005:

i was beyond anger ...
a few more days n the same happened ... i gave up on him ... at least at first...

its a bit hard for me to explain what i mean by this ...
sometimes i think im jus making up excuses for myself... you know!... letting myself off the hook...
matlab... it must be so painful for him to realise kay i dont trust him completely ... n of course i feel guilty for that ; that i cant bring myself to ...

anyhow... lets start from the beginning...
i dont deny that i thought kay he'd backed off... infact ... i had even convinced myself kay that had been his intent all along... some form of vindictive gesture against me for rejecting him earlier ...( August 2005... ok this is a bit lame par i remember the exact date... so why not ?...:S 31st.August.2005)

i spent a whole day fuming ... i guess what made me so SURE was the fact that he'd not informed me in ANY way... matlab.. when we'd discussed bout decreasing the 'frequency' of calls ... he'd been so adamant kay there'd never be a situation when he would not at least TELL me kay he wudnt be able to call ... n that he wud think it SO RUDE if he didnt do that ...

i mean ... i seriously cudnt think of a situation when he jus CUDNT CALL... of course accident came to mind ... par ... y wud his mobiles be off ... n y wudnt the guy at zypherlogics tell me ?...

SO... for my own sanity i made up my mind kay i prolly deserved wat i got ... n it was done and over wid.. (shish!.. im so convinced kay i cant stay in a long term relationship... actually circumstances hi aisay rahay hian ... nobody specific to be blamed ...)

what truly riled me was the fact kay baat itni barh chuki thi kay mama, sofia and even akmal knew bout it ... n then ... mama had already tol nenek mon bout it too ...

again... its not that i din have flashes of doubt. i mean ... he's been calling me everyday for the past whole month ... n then... he had NEVER come across as insincere... (kahan say mil jatay hain aisay log ! OR??? Oh God how cunning!)

BUT... (n i'v changed my mind bout this)... i was definitely pissed off...

whatever the reason ... it DID NOT justify the silent treatment i got... A WHOLE WEEK!!!!
i dunno , maybe im over reacting... par its all relative... i mean ... if he'd been calling bout once a week or so ... i'd prolly give him a month b4 i went berserk (lol... berserk! really saara!)

khair... n now im getting to the point...
i started thinking k i'd lost it ....
one moment i'd be at the verge of crying ... or full with anger....
n the next moment i'd catch myself smiling at something he'd said in one of our conversations ...n really smiling ... u know the kind when somebody else catches you doin it ... they ( the somebody else) knows its bout somfin or sombody REALLY special... :):):):):)
i mean ... hello!!!!! SAARA!!! wake-up!!!

so its like im travelling from one reality to another ...
at one plane im completely convinced kay its over n done with... i was deliberately mislead... n now dumped ... (padan muka saara!!! )

n at the other ... everything's all rosy ... i havent even acknowledged kay he hasnt been talking to me... n i jus keep remembering him like nothing's changed....

n at another ... i feel SO foolish ... matlab... how cud i let somebody fool me like this ... ANGER... mostly at myself ... STUPID STUPID SAARA!!!

n all this within seconds... n u have this floating feeling of being in a dream coz what's goin through my mind does NOT make sense ... so my mind tells me ... 'relax! ur jus dreaming saara'..

course i know im not !!!...
conclusion: i'v lost it... or AM losing it at any rate...

it definitely doesnt help to have been living amongst emotionally confused ppl ( ma family - n no offense)...
my greatest fear ...(laugh if u want saara) is that i'll go the same way one day ...

my sweet side says: god that must be so horrible ... im so sorry
my harsher side: get a life saara ! u jus like to attract sympathy ... n get on with ur life minus this rubbish

yeah well i wish it was that easy ...
for most part i dont think bout such things ... matlab ... I SHUD get a life ... par something like this happens ... n i lose it ...

seriously ... i dont think he knows what he's getting into ... God help him ... seriously ...lol

... continuation

he called ... at least ... he called after mama asked him to...
so embarrasing!!!
i'd been crying the whole evening ...
damn!
sofia saw me ...
bas!!!
mama bhi pareshan ...
not that it was the first time i'd done it ... par i guess they have no idea how often i actually cry ... so this one came as a shock to them , especially coz i cudnt stop for hours... three to be exact ...

well back to the beginnning
he called ...
n i cried some more ...
how pathetic and pitiful ...
par seriously ... it was completely NOT in the plan ... i'd wanted to talk in a ... (kia?... ummm) mature sober way ... NO CUDN do
i cried my eyes out ...
woh bhi phone pay ..
n whose on the other end ?... a guy i have met exaclty thrice n known for only a year ...
GOD!!!
embarrasing embarrasing ?.... not really ...
SHOCKING!!!!
if i tell fatima she wudnt beleve it for a sec... at least not HOW horribly i bawled ... lol... getting carried away arent we...:)

...

A week after the kenduri at Mak Cum's house ... haider stopped calling ...

jus like that!!

no explanation no nothing...
hmmm.. maybe that's goin a bit too far ... he did sms once saying kay he had been tryin to call for a couple of hours n there was somfin wrong with the connection, par how the hell was i supposed to know kay that meant he aint calling for the next week or so ...

matlab!!!

he'd been calling regularly, EVERYDAY for the whole month and a half...

n phoof!!!...

erased from existence ...

at least THAT's how it felt ...

the first few days ... five to be exact ... i was cool ... i had been expecting somfin like this...
infact, its the reason why i had asked him not to call so often earlier ( which he completely ignored! - for the record)

par then mama had to talk to him ... n that worried me ... anyway ... i called him on his mobile ... both of them...
many times...
no reply...
surprise -> disbelief

so then we called his office ... zypherlogics...
never at the office !
OK!!!!!
fishy

i was beyond anger ...
a few more days n the same happened ... i gave up on him ... at least at first...